Finish Lines

I think my brain really enjoys messing with me. Last night I blogged about how I'm no longer an angsty teenager and that I was passed that. But my day has just been shit so far, and I find that I'm dressed in a manner than can only be described as the way I used to dress when I was an angsty teenager. I've also been walking around in public with my headphones in while scowling and ignoring people.

You'd think that I'd try to lighten up after I realized what I was doing, but I actually found that I enjoyed it. Being angsty reminds me of a time when my problems were so small compared to what they are now.


In high school we were all so eager for graduation day, the day when we would finally get our freedom from the dull routine of the public school system. And even now, in college, I find myself racing to the finish line. I think that we have a tendency to race through our whole lives, trying to get to the finish line of so many stages of our lives that we forget to just stop, take a break, and appreciate the scenery of those stages.

I'm not going to get too deep into this topic because then I'll probably be all "What is the purpose of life?" And that's just something I don't like to get into. My brain likes to stop working completely whenever philosophy is concerned.

I do wonder though, what my life will be like when there are no more finish lines to race to. Will it seem even more meaningless than it does now? I don't have the same goals as most other people. I don't think that having children and "starting my own family" is a goal that I care that much about. So that's one finish line you can cross off my list. 

All my life I've seen, heard, and been taught that life is all about those finish lines, or goals. Get good grades in school so you can get into a good college so you can get a good job so you can move into a nice house so you can start a family and retire. If life is all about crossing finish lines, then how are we supposed to enjoy the "here and now"? Of course all of this is easy to talk about now, while I'm feeling all angsty. But I'm sure that when this wears off I'll be rushing to finish college again.