My "Little Voice" is Defective

You know how everyone has their little voice in their head that tells them what to do, what to say, and what not to do and say?

I think mine is defective. It works... but sporadically. Instead of talking to me in a soothing and encouraging tone, it blurts things out in a panicked pitch.

I like to think that most of the time, I'm pretty conscientious of the "right thing" and the "wrong thing". I never have a problem with morals. I do however, have a problem my my little voice making me look like a bumbling insecure idiot.

Almost twice a week, sometimes more often, my voice will blurt out a joke and I'll say it out loud... and then when I don't get a great response to the joke, my voice will shout "OH MY GOSH YOU HAVE TO FIX THIS NOW. Try this, I promise it will make the situation better!"

And then I try whatever remedy my voice wants, usually a long, dull, and awkward explanation of the joke. And every time, it makes the situation worse. And then my voice will compensate by telling me to go on the offensive... which I think we all know, never goes over well.

Me: "We should totally watch So You Think You Can Dance this week!"
Jordan: "I don't need to. I already know all the dances. Ever."
My little voice: Ask him to show you how to do a fancy dance he's never heard of!
Me: Oh yeah (smugly) then show me the VietnameseWaltz!!
Uncle Paul: ............. Vietnamese? It's Viennese... like Vienna...
My little voice: ABORT! Tell him you know what you're talking about and that it's not your fault the people on the show pronounced it wrong! OFFENSIVEEE!

And well.... you can guess the rest.



Twitch and Kherrington from SYTYCD doing a Vietnamese Waltz



My voice is usually the reason for my inexplicable clumsiness too. Without my voice I would probably be able to walk passed someone in the hallway with minimal awkwardness and moderate grace. But with my voice, this would be a more accurate account:

Me: walking along in a straight line, see a person. Smile, "Oh hello."
Person: "Hey, Morning." walks passed me.

VOICE: "Turn that way!! He totally thinks you're a loser for being weird and smiling so big and waving for too long!"

Me: Awkwardly look away and walk fast around a corner and bump into a different person.

VOICE: "Oh my gosh now the first person thinks you're crazy and a loser and this new person is totally judging you for being clumsy. Way to go!"

Me: Sink into a dark twisty abyss.

If you think I'm joking about this I'm totally not. My voice actually says stuff like this to me.

One day I'll rise above my little voice!



Ninja me, getting ready to kick some little voice ass



"Taylor!: The College Years" Series Finale Date Officially Set

Don't worry, I'm not dead!! I just decided to grow up and be a real adult. Like with a job and stuff.  So I've been busy doing work and being all productive and have neglected my blog and its diehard fans ;)

I was just reading Jenny's blog again. It made me feel inferior because her style is so relatable and quirky. She has no problem capturing my attention and holding it there. But of course, it doesn't hurt that she's basically me minus two years. I was her RA her freshman year at Becker and now she is a second year RA.

I was on facebook and saw that all of the Becker RA's moved back today and start training soon. If I hadn't had such a terrible year last year, I would probably be jealous of them.

 As much of a pain in the butt RA training can be, it still can be a lot of fun and there's no other time throughout the entire year when you'll feel as close to all the other RA's as you do during training. And it's also so much fun being there together without any residents. It's almost like being at camp.

The best part for me during training last year was being a seasoned RA and being allowed to act out a scene during "Behind Closed Doors". I won't give too much away because some newbie RAs could be reading this.... but I will say that it was the performance of the century!

Although I won't be returning to Becker this year as an RA, I will be returning for one last class. I'll be taking Primatology in the fall as the final chapter in my Undergrad career. Is there more schooling in my future? You never know.... but for now, I think I'll be content to just lay the series to rest and work for a while to try to pay off the loans that are hanging over my head :/