Waking Lyndon.

Sometimes I'll be feeling witty. Sometimes I'll be feeling artsy. Sometimes I'll be feeling angsty. Whatever I'm feeling or thinking, I'll write about it here.

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Monday, September 27, 2010

Pigs make happy noises when they're happy.

So the Becker College football team won their game the other night. I'm pretty sure this means that the apocalypse has started. I'm a little scared for my life. You should all start preparing yourselves. Find proper shelter, gather canned goods, warn others. I suggest googling "preparing for the apocalypse" because you can never be too careful.

Saturday night I was up all night sick. I don't think I actually fell asleep until around 6:30AM. At first I placed the blame on the Becker College dining hall. I'm allergic to cherries and they had cherry garnished desserts Saturday night. I figured the only logical explanation was that they must have let the desserts contaminate some of the other food.

But upon further investigation, I've come up with a new possible theory. It occurred to me that, because of the football team's recent victory, the Earth may have started preparing to implode. Maybe my body is just more sensitive to the vibrations of our impending doom? The only way to test this theory will be to wait...

So while we wait, I'll tell you about my notebook. Last night I decided that it would be a good idea to keep a notebook by my bed while I sleep so that if I got a random stroke of genius in the middle of the night, I'd remember to blog about it the next day. But it seems that the brilliant ideas I came up with last night are.... well, less than brilliant now.

Apparently I thought it would be a good idea to let you guys know that I woke up at 3:00AM and had the sudden urge to cut my nails. I have a thing about my nails. I hate it when they get even a little long and I woke up last night and freaked out so I cut them... I don't know why I thought this was a funny idea to blog about...

And then I wrote the word "rain". I haven't the slightest idea where I was going with that one...

And then I wrote "David after the dentist"... I think I wanted to cleverly incorporate the phrase "Is this real life?" into the whole, football team winning their game thing. I'm not even going to try.

And then I have two stories from fourth grade that I guess I must have thought you guys would like. One of them is about the worst haircut I've ever gotten. It's not a particularly funny or involved story... so I don't know why I wanted to tell it so badly... but basically my mom took me to the hairdresser and they let me look through a book of celebrity haircuts. And for some reason, I thought that it would be a super fantastic idea to get a Darma (from Darma and Greg) mullet. At first the hair dresser kept my hair at relatively the same length but gave me that style, so I imagine it wasn't so bad. But I insisted on going shorter. You know, to go for the full mullet experience.

The next day at school I spent ten minutes at the beginning of the day in the coat closet crying my eyes out because I looked like a boy.

The other story I wanted to tell happened that same year probably a few months earlier. I had just gotten my glasses after faking the eye test and purposely failing so that I would get glasses. Which is ironic because now I actually need them and don't wear them. But at some point during the first few weeks in which I actually liked wearing glasses in fourth grade, I suddenly decided that I didn't want to wear them anymore. I would leave them in my back pack in the closet and pretend I left them at home. My teacher, that had decided my work became magically better while I wore my glasses, always asked me where they were. I would lie and tell her that I left them at home.

One day, my teacher decided that she wasn't satisfied with my answer and took it upon herself to search my back pack and brought my glasses to me. I still can't believe she did that and I was so stunned to be caught in my lie that day that I didn't even think about the fact that what she had done was unethical... but then ten-year-old kids don't usually know about privacy and property laws....


P.S. I know the title of this one is really random. It's something a girl said in my ethics class today. LOL.

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