Wonderings.

I wonder how long it's going to take for my cynicism to make me explode.
I wonder how long I can "stick it out" before I break down.
I wonder how long I can stay quiet.
I wonder how long I can pretend to care.
I wonder how long it would take me to forget how I feel.
I wonder how long I can deny that I'm headed in the wrong direction.
I wonder how I let my self become an outcast?